It is what it is.

I've had quite a day thanks!

And though I've been busy I am working on a post that is worthy of today's events.

I'll share this quote to begin, and then finish up the post tomorrow.

"If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever." Read More...

Love is...

I've loved two women in my life.

At the age of 47 I consider that not too bad. I don't throw the word around lightly as I know what it's like to love someone over a period of decades. I may not speak to my first love anymore (just the way it is sometimes) but I certainly still, and always will, love her. My most recent lover... that's another matter entirely. I've blogged about my experiences of late many a time, and will more than likely continue to do so as I'm sure she will remain the last woman I truly love.

You may/may not recall a single panel comic strip from a while back entitled Love is... Was in black/white and there was one panel that I still recall to this day. Love is... no fun without her. Which is pretty much where I stand right now with my last love. Currently we're only swapping messages on Wastebook (with thanks to Goddo frontman Greg Godovitz for the phrase). It is my hope that we reunite as best of friends and failing that, have a respectful goodbye. We each deserve that.

And I'm okay with that.

But, what is Love?

Wikipedia defines Love as "the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment". In my mind there's a whole heck of a lot more to love than simply that.

How about a dictionary definition from reference.com? The dictionary defines love as "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." Nope, that doesn't do it for me either.

Perhaps then Love is simply indescribable.

What I do is thus... if you still love someone today, then it's love. If you no longer love them, you never did.

That's about the best I can do.

With that here's something I came across contained within an image file which I transcribed here.

Enjoy!

What is love?

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, and is your voice caught within your chest? - It isn't love, it's like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?- It isn't love it's lust.

Are you proud and eager to show them off?- It isn't love, it's pride.

Do you want them because you know they're there?- It isn't love, it's loneliness.

Do you want them because it's what everyone wants?- It isn't love, it's loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you or held your hand?- It isn't love, it's low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love because you don't want to hurt them?- It isn't love, it's pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skp a beat?- It isn't love, it's infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?- It isn't love, it's friendship.

Do you tell them every day that they are the only one you think of?- It isn't love, it's a lie.

Are you willing to give all your favourite things for their sake?- It isn't love, it's charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?- Then it's love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?- Then it's love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?- Then it's love.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there?- Then it's love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?- Then it's love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?- Then it's love.

Would you give them your heart, your life... your death?

Think about that for a second...

There are images which fit this post which can be found under the heading Slideshows - Just Because, no, not here, along the left of this page. You can also look under the heading The Basics of daT - Quotations, for further reading.

I'll finish off by saying that I love my kids (now 21 and 19), but I classify that love as different than romantic love, which was the subject of this post.

'nuff said, for now. Read More...

Chivalry and character...

Chivalry can be defined as having the sum ideal qualities of a knight (*snicker*) whereas character can be distinguised from being a character.

I myself always make the effort to hold the door ajar for a woman (of any age really), simply because it's the polite gesture to make. Sure it's often not acknowledged (whereupon I loudly proclaim 'you're welcome'), but it's something I believe in and will continue to do. Same goes for holding out a chair, walking on this inside of a sidewalk (did you remember that one?) and offering my hand as she exits a vehicle or raises out of a chair.

This post has its origins in an article I've just read entitled Don’t sweat it, guys: Chivalry ain’t chauvinism, again by the Gloabe and Mail's columnist Micah Toub.

His provocative opinions in the area of relationships is appealing to me. Not that I necessarily agree with everything he argues, I simply enjoy the fact that the subject is being presented in the first place. Old fashioned? Unappreciated gestures? Bah!

For example Toub posits the onus is on the male to make the appropriate overtures on that most stressful of days known as Valentine's Day. I wholeheartedly disagree! Why shouldn't/couldn't your woman participate instead of sitting back and waiting for the proverbial dozen roses and bottle of Chardonnay?

More to come...
Read More...

I heard a little girl...

What she said was something beautiful.

With those lyrics from My Friends as performed by the Red Hot Chili Peppers (youtube video here), I find myself thinking of My One Who Got Away.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry... you don't know how lovely you are.

Again, lyrics are front and centre in my mind. These from Coldplay's The Scientist (video posted on site here). With 2011 now underway I find myself alone again, and yet looking ahead with some measure of anticipation. There's a certain degree of concern associated with said anticipation as not only AM I alone but with Mom passing in 2009 my family has gotten smaller as well. My kids (about to be 22 and 19) are now out on their own and so my day to day life is simpler. Simple and quiet...

For a few months now my 'BEEN SAID' quote has been "Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." This has certainly been a central theme of mine of late. Still, the end of the beginning, right?

Is this 'the' reason I'm fixating on you?

No, I think not.

I'm thinking of you as I've no choice in the matter... I simply Love Her.

I sacrificed our relationship (so I keep telling myself) so's to deliver a much needed smack upside the head the likes of which she'd never before seen (or likely will ever again). I say 'keep telling myself' because a certain amount of disappointment and hurt are associated with that sacrifice. Ah, I'll leave this in greater detail for another ramble.

With that, I'll leave you with Creed performing My Sacrifice...



And that's all that needs be said, for now.

Love ya girl. Read More...

Time stands still

I gave it my all.

Need you as my friend, I'll just have to stand by and wait.

But this song, this song from the band you just can't stand, this song fits.

Read More...

Totally f00kin mad...

The single sexiest song of all time...





This also happens to be 'our' song and each time it comes up on my playlist I find myself thinking of her.

*sigh* Read More...

How long will I slide...

Getting down to the wire now.

Don't know if we have it in us, but, I'm willing to make the attempt.

Are you? Read More...

I know now that I have failed you...

Will you let me atone?
Will I get another chance?
To be best of friends?
Sit for hours on end speaking of nothing and everything and feeling as if there is no one else in the world?
Laugh 'til it hurts?

Thought we cannot be together, we are always together.
I know this now.

You have touched my soul as deeply as no one else before.

And all I've done is walk away...

So I give you;



I know you feel as I.
I feel you when you're not around, as I know you feel me.

Just once more... to get it right.

Sweetest of friends.

I believe in you. Read More...

The end of the beginning...

F00k everyone else, I'm gonna do what feels right, no matter the cost.
And really, is there any other way?

Will you be there... Read More...

Tuesday isn't looking any better...

So I give you...



I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth... more than I'd care to admit. Read More...

It's just one of those days...

Mondays... I usually look forward to Mondays, but this Monday in particular is 'just one of those days'...



What irks me to no end (see those little irk bubbles above my head?), are those who say one thing and do another. Actions speak louder than words... oh the irony! Been happening quite a lot of late.

Damn f00kin shame it is too.

I am in need of a f00kin smoke, a f00kin drink and some rock & roll.

Mondays... Read More...

Toronto's Santa Clause parade is today

Am sitting here alone on a Sunday afternoon waiting for a buddy to drop by so's I can kick his ass in darts. Until then I'm engrossed in S5 of Rescue Me, starring Dennis Leary.

Been thinking of those in my life, and of those who've come and gone over the past year. Hoping my son is ok, and that my daughter is doing well on her own.

And st00pid me, am thinking of My One Who Got Away, and hoping she too is doing well.

Miss them all... Read More...

It's been a heck of a year

Don't quite know what to say other than it's been quite a year.
Mom passed August 4th. She 'suffered' from Dementia, and the last month she'd had a stroke and a series of 'small' heart attacks.
I miss ya Mom!


I'd had my kids early in life so that as I approached 50 *cough* I'd be 'done'. With my youngest now 'out of the house' I'm free and clear to do as I see fit.

So, as a buddy of mine did, I'm heading off to Afghanistan with the Americans. Should I 'prevail'... I'll make enough cash in 3-5 years to last the remainder of my days.

Looking forward to it actually.

Personally, I've had a few 'smacks upside the head'. Women... what can one say other than **#(&*(@#R)(

Was 'fun' while it lasted.

more to follow...
Read More...

What have I become... my sweetest friend

I think I've just made the single biggest mistake I'm every likely to make... Read More...

Now here I go again... etc

Know the rest of the lyrics?

Think David Coverdale.

I mean, really!

Is this the way for me? Read More...

Rule#2

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Read More...

How to get to Rule #2...

This is where the debate begins.

I'll ask first if you even have a rule that overrides all others.

Do you?

Do you have what is commonly referred to as a golden rule?

We've met those who seemingly do not. If that be the case, move along please.

Unless of course, you're ready to consider the possibility of what the idea might mean to you.

Right?


A Google of The Golden Rule produces the following:

• Wikipedia - The Golden Rule is an ethical code that states one has a right to just treatment, and a responsibility to ensure justice for others. It is also called the ethic of reciprocity.

• A fellow by the name of Harry J. Gensler has a short essay on the matter. He is a proponent of a global ethics. Check out his page, its worth a look. (See the menu bar on his page for a direct link to his golden rule). 

• Ethics of Reciprocity in 21 World Religions

Hmm, religion, business ethics and morals.

I'm not religious.

I'm most certainly spiritual.

Personal Ethics and Morals are part of my Golden Rule. They'd have to be as my golden rule is to look out for yourself first. If you don't this must mean you're NOT looking out for yourself. Now why would I willingly choose to do that? Why would I CHOOSE to not see how something affects me before I act?

It means of course, I'm not looking first.
And to look first, we must have a viewpoint.

And that viewpoint starts with me.

Starts with you...

If we all have a golden rule, what is yours?

Does my saying that everything starts (and ends of course) with me, a 'bad' thing?

Does this make me selfish?

WTF, of course not.

If my Rule#1 is It all Begins and Ends with Me, my Rule#2 (ironically religious in nature) must be...

          "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Read More...

Words of wisdom, let it be

A friend sent this to me yesterday.

It is better not to be in a relationship at all than it is to be in one that continues to link closeness to betrayal, abandonment and isolation.

Acceptance...

At this point, it says more about me than what was once 'us'.

Accept, learn... and move on.

So be it.

More rambles to come. Read More...

Californicated

Fuck.

Being alone again, why does it have to feel so lonely?

So, here begins a story of my falling in love, for only the second time in my life. And (yes, you CAN begin a sentence with and), as it would be inappropriate of me to use her real name here, we'll just call her Ashley.

So, Ashley is younger than me. A lot younger. 20 years younger, and as I'm 47, well, the world doesn't approve. Nor did her Mom, or her step-dad, whom I'm older than.

Go ahead, I can smell your disapproval from here.

Its really all about image for you, isn't it?

Does it look right, feel right, smell right.

Why do we crave approval and spend our lives being disapproved of.

Why are people so afraid of just being ourselves?

Get over it. Read More...

Where we are one...

I've just read the single most beautiful letter I've ever received (and am likely to ever receive).

I just wish I could believe her. Read More...