It is what it is.

I've had quite a day thanks!

And though I've been busy I am working on a post that is worthy of today's events.

I'll share this quote to begin, and then finish up the post tomorrow.

"If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever." Read More...

Chivalry and character...

Chivalry can be defined as having the sum ideal qualities of a knight (*snicker*) whereas character can be distinguised from being a character.

I myself always make the effort to hold the door ajar for a woman (of any age really), simply because it's the polite gesture to make. Sure it's often not acknowledged (whereupon I loudly proclaim 'you're welcome'), but it's something I believe in and will continue to do. Same goes for holding out a chair, walking on this inside of a sidewalk (did you remember that one?) and offering my hand as she exits a vehicle or raises out of a chair.

This post has its origins in an article I've just read entitled Don’t sweat it, guys: Chivalry ain’t chauvinism, again by the Gloabe and Mail's columnist Micah Toub.

His provocative opinions in the area of relationships is appealing to me. Not that I necessarily agree with everything he argues, I simply enjoy the fact that the subject is being presented in the first place. Old fashioned? Unappreciated gestures? Bah!

For example Toub posits the onus is on the male to make the appropriate overtures on that most stressful of days known as Valentine's Day. I wholeheartedly disagree! Why shouldn't/couldn't your woman participate instead of sitting back and waiting for the proverbial dozen roses and bottle of Chardonnay?

More to come...
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I heard a little girl...

What she said was something beautiful.

With those lyrics from My Friends as performed by the Red Hot Chili Peppers (youtube video here), I find myself thinking of My One Who Got Away.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry... you don't know how lovely you are.

Again, lyrics are front and centre in my mind. These from Coldplay's The Scientist (video posted on site here). With 2011 now underway I find myself alone again, and yet looking ahead with some measure of anticipation. There's a certain degree of concern associated with said anticipation as not only AM I alone but with Mom passing in 2009 my family has gotten smaller as well. My kids (about to be 22 and 19) are now out on their own and so my day to day life is simpler. Simple and quiet...

For a few months now my 'BEEN SAID' quote has been "Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." This has certainly been a central theme of mine of late. Still, the end of the beginning, right?

Is this 'the' reason I'm fixating on you?

No, I think not.

I'm thinking of you as I've no choice in the matter... I simply Love Her.

I sacrificed our relationship (so I keep telling myself) so's to deliver a much needed smack upside the head the likes of which she'd never before seen (or likely will ever again). I say 'keep telling myself' because a certain amount of disappointment and hurt are associated with that sacrifice. Ah, I'll leave this in greater detail for another ramble.

With that, I'll leave you with Creed performing My Sacrifice...



And that's all that needs be said, for now.

Love ya girl. Read More...

If you dare...

Came across this Globe and Mail article entitled - The eternal appeal of the femme fatale; by author Micah Toub. I'm just now reading some of his work and find him to be a good read...

At any rate, in this article he asks why we run after women we should be running from. I won't group myself under the banner of 'we' in this case as I've been known (on more than one occasion) to actively pursue the intelligent/witty/sultry full-blood passionate woman... phew... out in a gathering.

Just thinking of the initial flirtation gets my pulse racing.

Some of you right now are smiling at that admission on my part. Really all I'm doing is acknowledging a shared reality (and why wouldn't I?). Many spend their days ignoring that which is, and miss out on all the fun!

/begin side ramble

Acknowledging those as you pass them on the street. Another example might be speaking to people in an elevator. I always have fun with this one. People are (generally) either engaged at watching the numbers flash awaiting their floor, or the more boring staring at their feet gaze. Not me, I engage them. Speak to people... acknowledge them. Really, that's all people want... to be noticed.

/end side ramble

Many a man will not only shy away from her but will run in the opposite direction. Complete lack of confidence and any sense of adventure. At the same time many a woman are incapable (unwilling?) of being in a relationship with a man, as they've spent most of theirs days with boys. They relish their (false?) sense of power and control and consequently grow incapable of standing on their own two feet.

It's funny (telling, but funny anyways), but, I was sitting in a pub with my woman and the ubiquitous 'buddy' remarks that I should 'take care of your woman'. My reply was that no, I wouldn't... but I'd care for her. 

The difference may be subtle, in reality it is far from it.

And while I humbly admit to cultivating the classic bad-boy look, I must also not so humbly accept this look is seen as the male version of the femme fatale. Ah... gender. Look at someone as a person before seeing their gender and it becomes a whole new ballgame then. Gender just makes it interesting. Okay, perhaps a little more than just interesting. :\

Still, the so-called bottom line is this... every family is dysfunctional and we, are all f00ked up.

Enjoy the ride... Read More...

Time stands still

I gave it my all.

Need you as my friend, I'll just have to stand by and wait.

But this song, this song from the band you just can't stand, this song fits.

Read More...

Totally f00kin mad...

The single sexiest song of all time...





This also happens to be 'our' song and each time it comes up on my playlist I find myself thinking of her.

*sigh* Read More...

How long will I slide...

Getting down to the wire now.

Don't know if we have it in us, but, I'm willing to make the attempt.

Are you? Read More...

I know now that I have failed you...

Will you let me atone?
Will I get another chance?
To be best of friends?
Sit for hours on end speaking of nothing and everything and feeling as if there is no one else in the world?
Laugh 'til it hurts?

Thought we cannot be together, we are always together.
I know this now.

You have touched my soul as deeply as no one else before.

And all I've done is walk away...

So I give you;



I know you feel as I.
I feel you when you're not around, as I know you feel me.

Just once more... to get it right.

Sweetest of friends.

I believe in you. Read More...

The end of the beginning...

F00k everyone else, I'm gonna do what feels right, no matter the cost.
And really, is there any other way?

Will you be there... Read More...

Christmas merry...

Here's wishing everyone a good day with family and friends.

Mine will be a little different this year as Mom has passed, my son is out east and my daughter is out on her own now.

And I am without my one that matters.

Be well everyone! Read More...

Tuesday isn't looking any better...

So I give you...



I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth... more than I'd care to admit. Read More...

It's just one of those days...

Mondays... I usually look forward to Mondays, but this Monday in particular is 'just one of those days'...



What irks me to no end (see those little irk bubbles above my head?), are those who say one thing and do another. Actions speak louder than words... oh the irony! Been happening quite a lot of late.

Damn f00kin shame it is too.

I am in need of a f00kin smoke, a f00kin drink and some rock & roll.

Mondays... Read More...

Toronto's Santa Clause parade is today

Am sitting here alone on a Sunday afternoon waiting for a buddy to drop by so's I can kick his ass in darts. Until then I'm engrossed in S5 of Rescue Me, starring Dennis Leary.

Been thinking of those in my life, and of those who've come and gone over the past year. Hoping my son is ok, and that my daughter is doing well on her own.

And st00pid me, am thinking of My One Who Got Away, and hoping she too is doing well.

Miss them all... Read More...

It's been a heck of a year

Don't quite know what to say other than it's been quite a year.
Mom passed August 4th. She 'suffered' from Dementia, and the last month she'd had a stroke and a series of 'small' heart attacks.
I miss ya Mom!


I'd had my kids early in life so that as I approached 50 *cough* I'd be 'done'. With my youngest now 'out of the house' I'm free and clear to do as I see fit.

So, as a buddy of mine did, I'm heading off to Afghanistan with the Americans. Should I 'prevail'... I'll make enough cash in 3-5 years to last the remainder of my days.

Looking forward to it actually.

Personally, I've had a few 'smacks upside the head'. Women... what can one say other than **#(&*(@#R)(

Was 'fun' while it lasted.

more to follow...
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What have I become... my sweetest friend

I think I've just made the single biggest mistake I'm every likely to make... Read More...

So, I'm single and looking...

I've grown weary of the 'bar' scene and have signed up at plentyoffish.com (henceforth known as PoF).

I have to say although I'm impressed with the site and the response, I'm not so impressed with the lies and deceit.

Lying about ones age, posting pictures that are 5yrs and 40lbs ago... is that starting off on the right foot? Is this what I'm to expect?

Dating sucks... Read More...

Now here I go again... etc

Know the rest of the lyrics?

Think David Coverdale.

I mean, really!

Is this the way for me? Read More...

Rule#2

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Read More...

How to get to Rule #2...

This is where the debate begins.

I'll ask first if you even have a rule that overrides all others.

Do you?

Do you have what is commonly referred to as a golden rule?

We've met those who seemingly do not. If that be the case, move along please.

Unless of course, you're ready to consider the possibility of what the idea might mean to you.

Right?


A Google of The Golden Rule produces the following:

• Wikipedia - The Golden Rule is an ethical code that states one has a right to just treatment, and a responsibility to ensure justice for others. It is also called the ethic of reciprocity.

• A fellow by the name of Harry J. Gensler has a short essay on the matter. He is a proponent of a global ethics. Check out his page, its worth a look. (See the menu bar on his page for a direct link to his golden rule). 

• Ethics of Reciprocity in 21 World Religions

Hmm, religion, business ethics and morals.

I'm not religious.

I'm most certainly spiritual.

Personal Ethics and Morals are part of my Golden Rule. They'd have to be as my golden rule is to look out for yourself first. If you don't this must mean you're NOT looking out for yourself. Now why would I willingly choose to do that? Why would I CHOOSE to not see how something affects me before I act?

It means of course, I'm not looking first.
And to look first, we must have a viewpoint.

And that viewpoint starts with me.

Starts with you...

If we all have a golden rule, what is yours?

Does my saying that everything starts (and ends of course) with me, a 'bad' thing?

Does this make me selfish?

WTF, of course not.

If my Rule#1 is It all Begins and Ends with Me, my Rule#2 (ironically religious in nature) must be...

          "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Read More...

Words of wisdom, let it be

A friend sent this to me yesterday.

It is better not to be in a relationship at all than it is to be in one that continues to link closeness to betrayal, abandonment and isolation.

Acceptance...

At this point, it says more about me than what was once 'us'.

Accept, learn... and move on.

So be it.

More rambles to come. Read More...